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PERSONAL LIFE COACH - What does thriving mean for you?  You have your own desires, they won't necessarily be the same desires as others.

The Cambridge Dictionary states that to thrive is to grow, develop or be successful.


Do you find yourself going through the motions of life not really feeling connected to yourself or others?  Every day is task and performance orientated, you don’t have time to stop and ask yourself - what's really important to me today? I'd like to feel happier but what would my day look like for me to be happy? What am I grateful for and what can I learn from the challenges I'm facing? What are the barriers to allowing that learning to flow?

STEP 1: Support, Respect and Accept yourself​

Be more understanding of yourself, don’t be so hard on yourself. In another blog 'finally the truth about don't be selfish'  I mention expecting more of yourself than others, being more critical of yourself than others. The first step to thriving is to be more accepting of yourself. 

STEP 2: Be a first rate version of yourself, not a second-rate version of someone else.

If you compare yourself to others, the chances are you'll feel lacking and not enough. This is true because it’s impossible to be a first rate version of someone else. However nobody else can be a first rate version of you - only you can do that.

Maybe you feel that a first rate version of you still would not be good enough - those thoughts can be explored in counselling.

STEP 3: Explore any barriers with your counsellor

We all have our own core beliefs and perceptions, these are important and valid.

It’s when some of these perceptions have developed into negative beliefs about ourselves that they can hold us back from our true potential.

STEP 4: Ask yourself questions that only you can answer.

You may already have your own questions - I mention a few here to give you some ideas.

  • What is important to me today
  • What would my life look like and who or what would be in it for me to feel that I was thriving?
  • What am I grateful for?
  • What can I learn from the challenges I am facing?
  • What are the barriers that hold me back?

Think about your values, trust your own intuition.

STEP 5: Mindfulness

Mindfulness can really help in calming your busy mind and this can give you clarity in decision making and knowing what feels right for you.

It doesn’t seem to make sense that when you stop thinking about things you can get clarity - but in my experience and from talking to others it does create a space for clarity to flow.

Further information and evidence from research can be found in my blog 'Anxiety and Depression - Can Mindfulness help?'

STEP 6: Actualisation

You're at the stage where you know what's important to you and how you'd like things to be. The final step is to find a realistic way for you to actualise your thriving.

This can be difficult because we all have busy lives, so first of all, you need to feel that you're worthy of thriving so this can be a high priority for you. Think about what small steps you can take towards your desires, start to say no to things you don’t want.

If you have difficulty saying no there's little room left for the things you do want.

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